[Veltzeh]: 39.Fiend or Foe.Chapter 1: What is this?

     After over three years of doing paperwork, my twin G-Qem and I were finally transferred to fieldwork which was supposedly more interesting than paperwork. Just two weeks after that announcement we were told to go to Earth to catch a fellow agent who had assumptively lost eir mind there. No one agreed to give any hypothesis as to why that had happened. No matter how hot it seemed to be in some places on earth, it was observed long ago that the Earthen climate would not be dangerous to regenians – in theory. Almost everyone who ever went there eventually wanted away again for some reason or another, or so it seemed. Especially the climate near the equator of the planet and the summertime weather was highly disliked. Equally disliked was the humans' assumedly very direct, childish way of expressing issues. I thought that would not be a problem for me or for my twin for that matter, as we had always preferred rather direct talk. I had only read the reports that had been sent home and talked to one colleague of mine about the humans. Overall, the humans came off to me as very strange and the material and my colleague represented themselves in a frustrated manner as I understood it. It looked like a mystery to me and I liked taking part in trying to untangle mysteries.
     Barely four years had passed since our space workers and researchers first contacted the humans. The first expedition to Earth had been sent 70 years ago. The trip to the planet itself took, according to the calculations, 69 years. During that time the people here on Regen had developed a dimension engine that would take a ship to Earth's solar system in a few weeks. Just as the first ship reached the planet after those 69 years of travel, as was calculated, we sent another ship to tell the news. Talk about irony. I recall reading that the original ship they used over 70 years ago has been made into a space station.
     After having arrived and joined up with the people from the first ship, our scientists studied Earth for weeks before going even near it. They found and accidentally destroyed one probe that was orbiting the sixth planet of the solar system (Saturn). The probe was assumed to be made by the people on Earth and thus the scientists predicted that if humans had probes this far in space, they would likely have more around their own planet and there was a chance they could detect our ships and possibly use their weapons on us if they had any. The scientists did not have time to find out much more before a primitive space vessel came from the planet. It headed for the fourth planet of the system (Mars), slowly and not steadily, but it did eventually end up there.
     The scientists decided to study these humans that had ventured off their own planet, as it was assumed that if the humans did have a defense system around their planet, it likely did not extend to Mars. As soon as contact was established with the humans, it did not take that long to build up a relatively sufficient mutual understanding, though they say that Alastair Lekala, the first human to be made contact with, played a great role in that. The scientists induced an impression that this specific human was more similar to us than to other humans. Later it was confirmed that by human standards, the humans who had been sent to space to examine Mars were actually more intelligent than "the average human". The scientists did not argue that claim and later confirmed that it seemed to be a reasonable statement to some extent.
     Soon after, a rather independent space station that was supposed to orbit the planet Earth was built. It soon became clear that the humans comprised different and obviously separate nations that had serious conflicts between each other, so our decision-making board decided not to give any particular nation of people any special information concerning our technology or even us. This decision was mostly achieved because it was obvious that some nations might badly misuse this new knowledge in order to construct harmful weapons.
     Many of my kind were sent to the planet as ambassadors and the like, and while some of them were treated, according to their words, rather well, some were also killed. Many who had some contact with many humans seemed to consider them very hostile, unpredictable, impetuous, disgusting and even outright out of their minds. Only three of our people still tolerated them after four years (or approximately two Earth years, since Earth's and Regen's planetary cycles are different) of being on the planet and were thus able to continue their work there.
     I did not have any special intentions of going to Earth, but who would not want to see it with eir own eyes, if given the chance? Especially if it was, like in this case, almost obligatory. G-Qem felt the same way so we decided to agree on going there. We were speed-taught the language of the area we would be mostly operating in and, just in case, also two other popular languages. The language teacher said we were lucky to learn one of the rare languages of humans that would not cause problems with respect to the gender system of that planet. While the first language, called Finnish, was rather utilizable, the other two languages, German and English, confused us to no end.
     Our mission was to catch and bring back Talery Lotuhe-V-Hael, preferably alive. Talery's partner had been killed by the humans in the area we were assigned to, which seemed to be a partial reason as to why ey ey assumedly became crazy.
     When we got to Earth, Talery had already killed three humans. The human police forces were very mad at us, because for some reason they thought it was our fault. I tried to talk some sense into them, but I do not think they understood. They had an even more direct way of expressing issues than we could ever have imagined. It made even us, who like direct expressing, feel very offended. It took a lot for G-Qem not to snap out at them.
     However, they did give us permissions to operate in their area to try and capture Talery. It was autumn in that particular place on Earth. It rained often and the weather was actually very tolerable. Still, we had to cover up our bodies and heads so we would not stand out too much and attract attention to ourselves. Most of the humans in this area had pale, brownish complexion as opposed to our light blue ones. Also, the poor humans did not have clavedels on their heads, so we thought it would be best to hide ours as best as we could, having been told that some of the humans were not friendly toward us. The ones here did not seem to approve even of the darker-skinned ones of their own species.
     It did not take very long for us to find Talery, but ey kept sliding through our fingers. Ey mostly operated in Tampere, the main municipality in the area. Ey was downtown and while we chased em in a busy street, ey jumped on a bus and disappeared. ey also once went into a human "amusement park" and hid in a "spook house" for four days while we had moved on with our search and ey escaped again. ey then went to the train station, got on a train and never came off it in Jyväskylä, the destination city. Instead, ey was sighted in Muurame, a small town not too far from Jyväskylä. However, when we got to Muurame, ey had already gone again and reappeared in Tampere. At least ey did not kill any more humans while traveling around.
     One night, we received a phone call from a person who thought ey had seen Talery moving about in a certain part of the city for several days. We got there very discreetly, located Talery to the best of our ability without having em find out about it and finally moved to intercept em in a narrow alley from which ey could access eir temporary residence. I was following em around so I had to keep my distance to decrease the odds of em noticing ey was being followed. In the meantime G-Qem was keeping ahead of em, moving to a point where we would make our ambush.
     Just as Talery turned to the alley, I gave up my cover and ran toward em from across the open street. I sensed that ey was distracted and momentarily did not know whether to advance to the alley or turn and try to run toward the more open area in front of me. Physically, the quickest way for em to get away from me and the range of my gun was to advance to the alley – we had figured ey would also likely think that way. We were proved right when Talery did run deeper. Ey ran past the doorway that led into the building but stopped quite soon, sensing and seeing G-Qem blocking eir way in that direction. G-Qem also ran toward em at that point. I was too far to see Talery properly and never did get a good look, because as soon as my eyes could make out eir form pressing down the doorhandle of the door to the building, an explosion filled the air with sound, heat, debris and whatever imaginable. 
     I later found out that about a quarter of the building had collapsed, but that did not matter to me. I had a vague memory of being handled by humans who seemed to be getting me off the street and cleaning the debris. After that, everything turned into fragments. Handling, some hands on me; fear, I didn't know what was going on; humans, they shouldn't have been there, I'm afraid of them, were they doing something to me? Terrible nightmares. I remembered thinking how I'd "gotten over" nightmares after I had realized that they were just another type of dream and I should rather be amused at them, but now they came back so numerous, so horrible my imagination did not seem to get any of it, so terrible I felt like giving up, and I gave in so many times, but they continued and continued... There was no dark, safe place to hide in, the humans could see me, I was so afraid all the time. I wanted to get away, I wanted the fear to stop, I wanted G-Qem to hold me. I didn't quite seem to be able to find G-Qem anymore, but I didn't know why. I was afraid that ey was dead, or braindead, or something, but for some reason I got some sensations that ey might still be alive though I didn't directly sense em, and that just made me more afraid. What had happened, why couldn't I sense properly, what was being done?
     Nightmares, fear, humans...
     I think I remember that this feeling means that I'm having my estrus period. I know that but I don't understand why it took me so long to figure out. Maybe it's because it's not supposed to be time yet, we couldn't have miscalculated human days that badly, even if their days are much shorter than ours and it's weird. I so want G-Qem to be here, but ey isn't and I can't feel em or touch em. I want to feel em, I want a response signal in my head. I don't care if ey touches me, but I want a response, eir estrus is at the same time as mine. Someone touches me but I don't get a response and it freaks me out. It can't be G-Qem, can it? G-Qem would give me a response... This is so frustrating that I'm crying even more than I usually do when I'm just afraid. That makes me even more scared. This estrus period is lasting forever, I don't understand why it won't stop and I'm so afraid and cold and hungry, though I don't know why because I've never been hungry during estrus. I want G-Qem to be here but ey isn't and that frightens me. The humans disgust me. I feel so tired, I know now that my estrus will end and I'll forget the feelings of what I had to suffer.
      I hear questions, questions asked in a human language, and in another human language, and another. I don't know if they're directed at me, first I didn't think so, but I started answering eventually because I thought maybe that would make them stop. I don't know what they asked or what I answered. I don't know in what language I answered them. I'm afraid and I feel hands on me again. My mind becomes scrambled, I remember recalling distant memories about other regenians, but I don't know why they seem distant. The memories are being pulled forth and I don't want that because it feels like my mind is being invaded and corroded, but I'm so afraid I can't make it stop.
     I think I tried to shut down my mind. I'm not sure if it worked, but I think they left me alone, though I'm still afraid. I'm hiding in a dark spot and it feels nice, though I'm still afraid of what might be done to me... by the humans... by everyone. Maybe... maybe even by... G-Qem. But why G-Qem? That wouldn't be possible. G-Qem held me, as far as I remember. I'm afraid but ey's holding me...
     The humans are doing something that makes me so afraid, they hurt me, and the better humans I'd met before don't seem to be coming to help. I don't know where they are, I can't seem to contact them, I forget them. Humans couldn't have done this, they couldn't have known how. Or could they? It doesn't make sense, but what does make sense now? Other regenians don't seem to be coming either. My superiors aren't coming. I was there so long. I was there so, so long. No one, no one ever came. I vaguely sense G-Qem but ey's in pain, I think ey's afraid like me. I'm trying so hard to organize my mind, I try so hard to contact someone, to sense someone, anyone, anything... but I didn't make it, they weren't there, and they couldn't have known if I was even alive. They didn't come looking for me.
     I'm alone, but at least G-Qem is holding me.

---

© by V. E. "Veltzeh" Lehkonen.